Toes

TheRobotMonkey: Wanna ear?

Jules Slander: NO. FUCK YOU, MCNASTY.

TheRobotMonkey: oh come on. you can put it on a key chain for good luck

Jules Slander: sick dude. die.

TheRobotMonkey: I clean them

TheRobotMonkey: daily

Jules Slander: die?

TheRobotMonkey: just think. you can pull it out at parties and it’ll blow people’s minds

Jules Slander: this conversation is OVER.

TheRobotMonkey: goddammit, you totally want an ear

TheRobotMonkey: just admit it

Jules Slander: shut up!

Jules Slander: yoy belligerent fuck! sick!

TheRobotMonkey: how about a big toe?

TheRobotMonkey: or even the little one

TheRobotMonkey: this piggy went to market…

Jules Slander: jesus christ, bill. fuck you.

Jules Slander: WORD BANK EMPTY. OVERDRAWN.

TheRobotMonkey: Ok.

TheRobotMonkey: You win.

Jules Slander: heh.

TheRobotMonkey: How about my ring finger?

Jules Slander: FUCK

Jules Slander: OFF

Jules Slander: FUCKER.

TheRobotMonkey: ok ok ok

TheRobotMonkey: tough crowd

TheRobotMonkey: sheesh

Jules Slander: as per usual.

TheRobotMonkey: I’d give my arm and a leg for a… oh yeah

Jules Slander: you are being soooo bill. this must end.

Jules Slander: in death.

TheRobotMonkey: I don’t even know where this is coming from. I’ve never tried forcing people to take my toes before

Jules Slander: do you know how much i hate feet anyhow? not to mention severed parts of them?

TheRobotMonkey: What if I ball it up and put it in a sock>?

TheRobotMonkey: wait wait wait

TheRobotMonkey: let me save you the trouble

TheRobotMonkey: DIE BILL

TheRobotMonkey: DIE

TheRobotMonkey: DIE

TheRobotMonkey: DIE

TheRobotMonkey: Ok, better?

Jules Slander: there you go. done and done.

IDGIE 666

2003-03-07 – 12:55 a.m.

May I pretend: man, I make like less then 8 to wrestle mentally retarded people

May I pretend: haha

TheRobotMonkey: that sounds like a pay-per-view event

TheRobotMonkey: Tard Wranglin’

May I pretend: yeah, I’m actually training for the tardtackle championship this April

TheRobotMonkey: You better beat those tards down

May I pretend: yeah, I go to practice every day after school

May I pretend: it’s pretty intense.

TheRobotMonkey: do you psyche them out by screaming things like “look it’s big bird!” or “there’s a ninja turtle on a pony!”?

May I pretend: haha

TheRobotMonkey: if I was a tard, that’d get my attention

May I pretend: I feel so dirty for talking like this

May I pretend: hahah

May I pretend: I’m going to go pray for my soul now

TheRobotMonkey: you can light a candle and count rosary beads for my soul tommorow

TheRobotMonkey: I’ll be at the Omaha Beef game

Responsibilities

pretzlboy02: man, nobody is up for the quickest roadtrip of all time to the greatest city of all time

TheRobotMonkey: when I dropped out of college, Pete, I sacrificed certain freedoms

TheRobotMonkey: one of those being no responsibilities

pretzlboy02: that freedom will return someday

TheRobotMonkey: yes, but I won’t be driving anywhere when I’m dead

WOOOOO

Crow2k: talk to you later, bro

Crow2k: WOOOOO

TheRobotMonkey: later Barb

TheRobotMonkey: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

TheRobotMonkey: IOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWA CITY!

Crow2k: BILL BRAAAAAAAAADSKI!

Crow2k: WOOOO!

TheRobotMonkey: BEEEEEEEEEEEEER!

Crow2k: HAWKEYEEEEEEES!

TheRobotMonkey: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROIN!

Crow2k: FOOOOOOOOTBAAAAAAAAAL!

TheRobotMonkey: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!

Crow2k: DAAAATE RAAAAPE!

TheRobotMonkey: GHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHB!

Crow2k: oh god, i am going to wet my pants!

TheRobotMonkey: (does that even work?)

Crow2k: good bye!

TheRobotMonkey: bye

Shellac

A Prayer To God- Shellac

To the one true God above:
here is my prayer –
not the first you’ve heard, but the first I wrote.
(not the first, but the others were a long time ago).
There are two people here, and I want you to kill them.
Her – she can go quietly, by disease or a blow
to the base of her neck,
where her necklaces close,
where her garments come together,
where I used to lay my face,
That’s where you oughta kill her,
in that particular place.
Him – just fucking kill him, I don’t care if it hurts.
Yes I do, I want it to,
fucking kill him but first
make him cry like a woman,
(no particular woman),
let him hold out, hold back
(someone or other might come and fucking kill him).
Fucking kill him.
Kill him already, kill him.
Fucking kill him,
fucking kill him,
Kill him already, kill him,
Just fucking kill him!
Fucking kill him!
Fucking kill him!
Fucking kill him!
Just fucking kill him!
Amen.

Heh

stewymcstewstew: if i die i want it to be in action, like saving a kid, or beating my wife

TheRobotMonkey: not masturbating like you spend the 0ther 98% of your life?

stewymcstewstew: exactly

stewymcstewstew: that would be really embarrassing