Author: keef

So I’m going to Iowa City tonight when I get off work. I wish it was under better circumstances, but there are respects to be paid, and friends to go offer support too.

I’ll be back tommorow night.

This whole thing shocks me still. I want to see my Iowa City friends pretty bad right now.

(CONTEXT: This was right after Matt Davis, of the Iowa City band The Vidablue / Ten Grand, passed away.)

The Legend of the Overfiend

When Overfiend is found and born in a human, he will remake the world to something more of his liking! Ripping the boundaries of the three universes (worlds) apart, it’s clear that little can stand in his way! While the other worlds are hoping to find the Overfiend to control the creation of this new World we call Earth.

The Beginning of The End? Only the Legend of The Overfiend holds the answer. Sex starved demons have begun appearing on Earth in Japan as well as Man-Beasts amongst humans. Two siblings from the Beast World, Amano Jyuku and Negumi, have come in search of The Overfiend within a young student named Nagumo, who they believe may bring the worlds of the Beasts, Demons, and Human into Unity. Nagumo has begun a relationship with a young cheerleader by the name of Akemi, a demon rape survivor who begins to understand the circumstances behind Nagumo’s destiny. But opponents have begun showing up to oppose Nagumo. For the realms of the Demons, Beasts, and Humans, could this be the beginning of a New World, or The Beginning of The End of The World as we know it?

==

Possibly the most important Japanese gothic sci-fi tentacle sex horror metamorphosis allegory of our time, Urotsukidouji is poignant love tragedy wrapped in a shroud of horrific telescoping genitals and pink, luminescent semen. This movie is a large part of the reason anime has a negative reputation as porn.

Follow Nagumo as he falls in love, gets killed, comes back to life as a super sex demon and lives happily ever after. His cute, innocent love story with the character Akemi is a grand contrast to his propencity for non-consentual sex with just about everybody he meets. He truly is Everyman. I mean, uh…isn’t he?

There is also an incomprehenisble plot about demons and half-humans and the repeated destruction of Osaka, Japan. But you’ll have a hard time concentrating on the plot’s intricacies, what with all the raping and the killing and the kicking and the hurting.

I just got off the phone with my dad. Apparently, this kid that I know who we’ll call Andy* is having a suprise birthday party thrown for him on saturday. His mom called my parent’s house to invite me and give me address information and what not.

That sounds almost reasonable, right? Ok, here’s the catch:

Andy and I were not ever very close. We had a couple classes together my freshmen year of high school, and after my sophomore year we never talked again, save for maybe saying “hello” when we saw each other in public.

Do the math. I haven’t talked to the kid longer than two minutes since 1998. So, it seems weird that his mom would invite me to his birthday party. Of course, it seemed weirder that she would give me updates on how he was doing when I would see her in public. I met her once, when I was working at the Kay Bee Toys in the Mall of the Bluffs. She and Andy had stopped in. From that point on, most of the time when she sees me in public, she has to remind me who she is.

Is this woman oblivious? Does her son actually even consider me a friend? What the hell is wrong with this picture? Are these people actually this dense? Argh.

I don’t know what to say. I, of course, will not be attending. I’ll probably spend my usual Saturday Night down at the Brother’s Lounge.

And that’s all I got.

*this is his actual name

This entry was brought to you by:

[BROKEN IMAGE: /images/4588.jpg]

and

By now, everyone is familiar with those goddamn emoticons. You see them cropping up on message boards, chat programs, websites, and even e-mails. And they annoy you a lot.

One of the biggest problems with these little things, is that they ignore many of things we feel and think about on a daily basis.

Here are some new emoticons, just for you, for our coming year of 2004.

Listed below our illustration is a chart, explaining these new friends of ours.

Figure I
The hostage scene from Pulp Fiction.

How many times have you been unable to communicate that you were trapped in a basement, at the mercy of rednecks, on the cusp of being anally raped when you were on the internet? That’s what I thought.

Figure II
Facial humiliation.

One of these days you’re going to want to tell one of your friends that some time right after you climaxed, someone gave you a finish all over your face. What better way to express that, than the internet?

Figure III
Pirare.

Arrrrrrrrrr matey. Shiver me timbers. Let’s spend the day in davey jones’ locker. All your friends know you’re a pirate, but do the people you chat online with know? Now they do!

Figure IV
Suicide.

Everyone knows someone they would rather they never have to speak with again. Show them once and for all how much you hate their fucking guts.

Figure V
I’m taking a shit. Leave me alone.

Why log off or leave an away message when you can just pop up an emoticon that says it all?

Figure VI
Al Jolson.

I just really like the jazz singer. That’s all.

Figure VII
I have no feelings for anything.

Your parents will probably want to use this one more than anyone else, while you’re relating different tales on how you fucked up your entire life.

Figure VIII
Dude, I’m really, really, really, really high.

While we have to imagine that the person who invented emoticons was probably saying this to themselves, now you can show the entire world the same thing.

Figure IX
I’m wearing KISS make up.

Your “friends” already hate your guts and don’t want anything to do with you. This one was custom tailored for you, pal.

If there’s one thing that amazes me, it’s how we as humans have to deal with life and death. I’m not talking about the religious or spiritual look at death here. I’m talking about how when it’s coming and you know it’s going to get you and your thoughts go racing. Everyone’s had a couple of close calls.

Sometimes I’m amazed that I’ve lived as long as I have. I say this, not because I am exceptionally old, but rather because I’ve had my share of close encounters that might have resulted in the big trip to the morgue.

I’m thinking about this because while I was driving to work yesterday, a semi truck almost merged onto me and another driver in my lane. When he noticed there were two cars in the lane he was trying to merge into he moved back into his own lane.

I’ve got to tell you though, I thought for a minute that an interestate smash up was going to be the end of it all.

Instead, the dumb ass got back in his own lane and I looked at him as I drove by. He pointed at his eye as if to say “I didn’t see you.”

I gave him the finger as if to say “you should have looked.”

Man, I can’t wait for Jonah to get back from Chicago. I miss my favorite drinking buddy. I suppose I better get used to it, since he’ll be there for good in a month. Come back soon, buddy.

In other news, I’m at work right now. I’m kind of bored. It’s pretty slow today and I have no complaints about this. Yesterday was hell. So was Sunday. I went home both days and my mouth was dried out and my throat was sore from talking to people so much.

Last night I went drinking with Tara at Brother’s. That was fun. I’ve known her brother for about the past six years or so, but never really knew her until this past summer. We drank beer and told stories. It was fun.

The past few days I’ve been listening to the Blues Explosion’s Orange almost non-stop. Jillian gave it to me for my birthday. It rocks balls.

The realization that I need a scanner is coming again. I have a lot of things that I want to scan right now and no way to do so. Perhaps I should bite the bullet and purchase one. But probably not.

And that’s all I got. Oh yeah.

This entry was made possible by the following “Sponsors”:

[BROKEN IMAGE: /slayer.jpg]

That is all.

SUNFISH04 (9:06:07 PM): be honest You dont want to go out because of my haircut
SUNFISH04 (9:06:12 PM): you’re such a bastard
IAmBillLatham (9:07:38 PM): yeah that’s it.
SUNFISH04 (9:07:50 PM): ok well you are now labeled as no fun, I’m going to go take a shower because I smell like a foot
SUNFISH04 (9:07:55 PM): good bye

IAmBillLatham (9:08:58 PM): your sister just officially labeled me as no fun
Thuggs1 (9:09:06 PM): really? what a bitch.
IAmBillLatham (9:09:21 PM): you should probably go flush the toilet a couple of times while she’s showering for me
Thuggs1 (9:09:33 PM): deal

I made a homeless man cry on thursday.

Stop, right now, I know what you’re thinking: JESUS H. CHRIST, BILL?!?! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MAKE A HOMELESS MAN CRY?! YOU HORRIBLE PERSON! I’M ASHAMED I KNOW YOU!!!!

Well, stop. It wasn’t bad.

I was stopping off by the Cub Foods down in the Old Market for a twelve pack of Old Style and there was this homeless man sitting outside, drunk, next to a broken radio that I’m guessing he dropped. I was walking by and he looked really, really pathetic and I felt pretty bad for him.

“Could I get some change for a sandwich, man?” he asked as I walked by.

I walked into the store and then realized how bad I felt that I didn’t even stop and just kept walking. I grabbed my 12 pack and grabbed him a hot chicken sandwich from the deli.

I went outside and handed it to him.

“Enjoy it guy,” I said and smiled.

His eyes got really big and all of a sudden he was crying. He looked so happy and so sad at the same time.

“I didn’t…you didn’t…oh… thank you, man!” he said.

I walked back to my car. I’m used to seeing lots of panhandlers and what not downtown. I can recognize a good portion of them right off the bat. I still hate that because of them I’ll ignore actual people who have problems.

=

An accident occurred deep within keef dot net. My old entries will be back soon.

=

I turned 22 yesterday. My friends all got me very drunk. I love my friends.

=

Here’s another story about the homeless or near homeless

=

Retracing the old steps and looking at old pictures is a good way to remember the things you’ve done. Writing down the things you remember as they come back is a good way never to forget.

Case in point:

We were standing under the cover at the bus stop on a very gray april morning. The rain was pouring down (pitter pat, pitter pat) adding a rhythm much like a high hat to everything else. Cars passed by, rain poured down, and we just sat there underneath the cover in silence.

Silence was awkward, but I don’t imagine we would have said anything to important had we been talking. Still, it always seems that I encounter the people who just want to talk to everyone.

“What do you do?” he asked me. I wasn’t really paying attention and the question caught me a little off guard.

“Pardon?”

“I said, ‘what do you do?’.” He shot me a near toothless grin. It seemed very smug. I hated him already.

“Oh. Uh- not to much, man.”

I really didn’t want to talk to the guy. It had nothing to do with him being poor and nothing to do with his horrible odor (I’ll talk to strangers homeless or otherwise if I’m in a good mood). It’s just that I was not in a good mood. There were a lot of things on my mind that I was trying to forget about and talking to strangers just didn’t seem like the way to get that done.

Still he tried again.

“Yo, you wanna buy some hash?”

That did it. I grinned. He noticed. It was funny to me at that point. I tried to maintain composure, but it was too late. Somehow this person that I was not interested in even knowing had made my day.

“Not today, man. I just wanna catch my bus.”

“It’s cool man. I just wanted to see if you’d smile.”

The bus came and I boarded. He was waiting for the other one. I paid my quarter, sat down, and laughed the entire ride to Coralville. I wasn’t in a sour mood anymore.

People still suprise me.

Jonahnebraska (11:00:54 AM): haha bob hope is dead.
IAmBillLatham (11:01:18 AM): he finally died?
Jonahnebraska (11:01:40 AM): yep
IAmBillLatham (11:01:46 AM): remember how he’s been entertaining soldiers since the civil war?
Jonahnebraska (11:02:14 AM): yeha. haha.
Jonahnebraska (11:02:28 AM): he died at 100.
Jonahnebraska (11:02:33 AM): damn bastard.
IAmBillLatham (11:02:37 AM): so Strom Thurmond died. Bob Hope died. Who’s next?
Jonahnebraska (11:02:47 AM): Prince.
IAmBillLatham (11:02:56 AM): hahahahahhahaha
Jonahnebraska (11:03:12 AM): wouldn’t that be funny?
IAmBillLatham (11:03:40 AM): yeah it would
IAmBillLatham (11:03:55 AM): we should have them all memorialized on a mountain together
Jonahnebraska (11:04:12 AM): like mt. rushmore?
IAmBillLatham (11:04:16 AM): exactly

They had been smoking hash for the better part of the night when Alex started screaming that nothing was linear. He knew it in the back of his mind so clearly, but understood that no one else could see where he was coming from. He understood but decided, albeit loudly, to explain his position.

“NOTHING MOVES FORWARD!”

“THERE IS NO ORDER!”

“MADNESS! DARKNESS! GOOD GOD, MAN!”

He was hysterical and ranting. The equations of time and space. Equilibrium. Conscience and conscious. E pluribus unum. In the end we all go down screaming one by one and mother nature swallows us back into her cunt for all of time.

The bastards just didn’t get it.

So Vinny stuck a shiv in his stomach and gave him a handful of ephedrine.

“What the FUCK was that for?”

“Things move in a straight line, man.”