Month: December 2001

It’s now friday morning and I am making a mix tape for the ride home tonight. It’s been a pretty strange couple of days and now would be a good time to write about them.

Today we all gave David his last good bye. I’m gonna miss that kid. It’s amazing how you can meet a person and in a short time know they are far away. You probably won’t see this for awhile, but when you do remember to stay in touch, dude. You’re a good guy. Thanks for coming to the power lunch at Panchero’s.

Wednesday was my last final. So it’s been pretty much dead time around here for me. I worked today, did laundry, packed up for the trip home, and cleaned this fucker of a room up quite a bit too. I got shit done today. Good for me.

Going home is gonna be weird. I don’t know how I feel about it yet. Atleast I’ll have friends around and be working most of the time.

The Pogues rule. Just thought I would mention that.

Man. Going home again. I don’t know who said it, but I keep finding myself agreeing with that quote of “you can never go home again”. Whenever I do, it’s ok for a few days, but then I miss being free. I guess that’s the price I gotta pay for now. Oh well.

It’s late, I’m being over analytical and moody. Don’t know why.

Watched some TV tonight. That was weird. Space Ghost Coast to Coast and the rest of the shows on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim made my head hurt. I don’t know why. I don’t have a tv in my dorm room, so I go without seeing tv for weeks at a time sometimes. It’s kind of killed my patience for tv in general. I don’t really like sitting down to watch new shows, or just flip through channels. I haven’t seen an episode of the Simpsons since August, and I wasn’t even watching tv too much while I was home this summer. Maybe I’m missing something. I dunno. I like not watching it. The downside is that I never know what the hell is going on. Oh well.

Sleepy. Now the Piebald part of the mix tape is taping. Hey! You’re part of it.

This place has broken my American Heart.

Over and out kids. Have some happy holidays. Maybe I’ll update or something. Or not. I dunno. There is work to be done, to be done. There’s a war to be one, to be one. Come you son of a son of a gun, and join up.

Word.

12.18.2001

To Whom May Concern:

Professor Brooks Landon
English Department Head

Greetings! My name is Bill Latham and I am an English student here at the University of Iowa. I recently finished taking a course taught by one William Kupersmith, a man that to quote the vernacular is “out of his fucking mind”. I don’t know why I waited so long to write this, but I’m doing it mainly out of concern for other students who may become victims of this man’s teaching. I am addressing this to you as you are head of the English Department. I also had your Modern Fiction class during the 2001 Spring Session, and respect your teaching.

This course has been a nightmare since day one. Each class was filled with inane comments, highly opinionated coverage of the works we covered (sometimes even going beyond historical accuracy), and very limited outside help. Professor Kupersmith is not always available for office hours and offers very little help understanding his grading process. For example, I turned in a paper wherein I stated a personal opinion and said that I “wasn’t sure I believed in the personal existence of a deity”. The comment written in the margin of that paper asked “what are you trying to say?” I think I was pretty clear on that. Looking over the tests of peers I would notice comments such as “sketchy”, and also notice that whatever was made sketchy was not obvious to any of us. In fact, simply writing the comment “sketchy” with no explanation is in itself “sketchy”.

I kept a list of inane comments heard through out this course. I have well over 50 of them. I thought I would share the ten “best”. If you do not wish to claw your eyes out after reading these, I do not know what to tell you.

10) “[The people of the future] will have a machine that downloads directly into their minds. That is if they HAVE minds!” -9.17.01

09) One thing you’re not supposed to do in poetry is talk about characters like they are real people. But they are real people… well, at least for me.” -9.17.01

08) “[Modern Audiences] would say that a school bus full of children going off a cliff is a tragedy, which it isn’t.” -9.26.01

07) “I’m getting a little tired of people flying on the water and disobeying the laws of gravity.” -9.28.01

06) “The Gospel of Mark is like ordering a club sandwich if the Gospel of Mark is Turkey and the Gospel of Luke is Chicken.” -11.26.01

05) “I would certainly send a fury after that Osama Bin Laden character.” -Tying current events into Greek literature 10.3.01

04) “By the time we get to the Gospel of John we see that he [Jesus] has a sort of radar.”-11.28.01

03) “The choice of mountain goats is good, and I wonder how much experience our author had with them.” -11.19.01

02) “All the Water In the world is not going to wash off the blood of your mother.” -10.5.01

01)”I had a dream the other night where I was talking to a person who had already died. This disturbed me, but I won’t bore you with the details.” -9.14.01

I have others as well. Words barely describe how painful this class was to go to 3 days a week just for the attendance grade. I can assure you completely that this class will be the basis of some sort of short story in the new future. I cannot imagine how this man is still a teacher. Actually, I can. And I curse tenure’s name much like one would wave his fists in the air and curse a deity of choice.

Thank you for your time. I do not know if this letter will actually end up doing anything, but I thought you should know what is going on in your department. I will be strongly recommending that people do not take any classes that are taught by this man. It was not worth my time and money and sure as hell is not worth anyone else’s. Thank you again.

Respectfully,

Bill Latham
Iowa City, IA

He says something that I don’t quite understand, and says it again when I don’t respond.

“BITE THE CURB.”

I look up at his face as he repeats himself, this time much louder. I make a sudden move to get up and he kicks me hard in the side and I wonder why no one is doing anything to stop this.

“DO IT!”

I move forward on my hands and knees and crawl forward, uncertain of his intent. The curb is smeared with pink frosting from the cake, and I taste the comforting sweetness as my teeth settle against the cement.

He lifts one foot, raising it behind my head. Right now, Carol is walking through the front door. She looks around the crepe paper and balloons, and for a moment, waits for me to leap out and yell suprise.

-Pink Frosting, Adrian Tomine

I hate you.

No, it’s not because of something you did to me personally. It’s deeper than that.

I hate you for breathing.

I hate you for taking up my air.

I hate you for hassling me.

I hate you for watching “Friends”.

I hate you being a walking billboard for some fashion magazine.

I hate you for buying Oprah’s Book of the Month.

I hate you for the flag sticker in your front room window.

I hate you for your devotion to that damned Bible.

I hate you for Minute Rice.

I hate you for Shake and Bake.

I hate you for “Seventh Heaven”.

I hate you for the Victoria Secret Catalogue.

I hate you for fast food.

I hate you for going to the mall.

I hate you for driving everywhere in a hurry ignoring the world around you.

I hate you for pledging allegiance to a piece of cloth instead of your fellow humans.

I hate you.

I really fucking hate you.

Yes, I do.

Woo hoo!

I got a special care package today from home, which rules. It’s one of those exam week care packages that your parents can send through the University if they love you.

Apparently mine love me this year. I didn’t even know they could do this last year.

Anyway, I got a nice bucket full of candy (a “fuckit bucket” for all you David Sedaris fans out there [“when life brings you down, just say ‘fuck it’ and eat yourself some motherfucking candy.” -the Rooster]), and a fruit basket with my favorite fruit pears.

I already ate one of the pears, so I better stick to the Oranges and Apples for a couple days so they last me a little longer. I sure do love pears.

Most of my updates recently have been pretty cryptic or just quotes so I think I’ll make this a long one, starting from friday ’til now.

FRIDAY

Friday was the Faultlines/Blue Bottle/Brian Jones/other band show at the Potata. It was pretty fun. Lots of drinking and music making going on. I actually took it pretty easy on the drinking for once. Well, only because I was hungry and I can’t drink a whole lot if I’m really hungry. So when I went home at 4 in the morning I was pretty stark and sober. It was kind of weird. I’m not saying it was a bad thing or anything, but I can’t remember the last time I walked home from there sober.

Oh yeah, as me, Tab, and Bre were leaving we watched a car accident. Some drunk bar chicks almost crashed into a tree at idling speeds and then slammed into the back of a parked sports car. We all got a big laugh out of it. It was pretty funny.

It was a fun night though.

SATURDAY

My friend Sarah came down from Waterloo Saturday to see me and my friend Mike. She brought a friend named Jim with her. He was pretty cool. We hung out, went for a walk around good ol’ Iowa City, rented the movie “Trekkies”, watched it, got drunk, and shot the shit.

It was pretty low key, but it was fun. Not too excitement packed, but low key and intimate.

SUNDAY

Hmmmmm. What the fuck did I do yesterday? Oh yeah, I slept a lot. And not much else.

TODAY

I’m done with class now. This morning in my creative writing class we watched BLADERUNNER which is one of my favorite movies. I was excited. We had to write a response after watching it. I think mine is going to be a lot more in depth than my instructor inspected since I’ve seen that movie more times than I can count. It was a fun way to end that class though.

Classical and Biblical Lit went ok. I’ll have my Quotable Kupersmith book done soon. My friend Keef went into a class the other day that he has with Professor Latham. Professor Latham told him something that will be the forward for my book. He said “Let me tell you something about that man- HE’S OUT OF HIS FRICKIN’ MIND!” I must meet this Latham fellow. We share the same last name. Must meet him. Perhaps I’ll have him for a class now that I am officially an English Major.

Oh yeah. I’m all signed up for classes next semester.

Here’s what I’m taking:

Reading Essays
Literature and Society
Nonfiction Writing
American Indian History and Politics
American Indians in Film

And I think that about wraps up this entry.

Ciao!

Five lives dead and gone.
We breathe out of key and wonder
If you can hear the awkwardness in these tremors.
Draining. Cutting this cancer out.
Teeth gaping yet I make no sound.
Six hammers and one sky falling.
Five lives dead and gone.
Mediocrity in believing in everything,
And this lack of will has them buried forever.
-Converge, Albatross

It is monday. Tommorow I have 2 papers and a presentation due. I did them today and finished them up.

Was a good day indeed.

I bought a copy of “Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas” this afternoon. I’ve read the book several times, but I don’t own a copy of it. Hunter S. Thompson is one of my favorite authors so it was a good purchase for me to make.

I’ve halfway read through it already. I like books like that. Ones you don’t want to put down.

Still need to go see my advisor so I can register for classes. I’ll do it tommorow. HAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAH. But seriously, I’ll probably go on Wednesday. If I have time tommorow I will go, but beings it’s Tuesday and that means it is hell day, I probably won’t have much time to.

The weekend was fun. It was fun taking Dan, Brian, Sam, Dave, Dre, and Matt to Omaha. Faultlines played a pretty good set. I felt bad that not many people showed up, and most of the ones who did were stupid 15 year old kids. Oh well. My friend Jimmy liked them and said he’d book them again so that was cool.

Piebald rocked too. Don’t wanna forget that.

Right at this moment I am looping out of mind with nyquil. I have to keep starting and stopping this entry here and there. I think I’ll make it through though just fine. I hope so anyway.

Tommorow, in addition to turning in 2 papers, and giving that presentation, I have a test in my Enviromental Science class. This of course, sucks balls. But I’m used to that. I’ll have to do a little more studying before I go to bed.

And I think that’s it from me. I don’t feel like writing much else now.

Don’t despair child. Soon you’ll be dead.