IT’S BANGED UP AND BRUISED AND IT’S ALL GONE SO RUSTY

The best class I ever took in college was a four-credit-hour lab in the political science department entitled “The Perceived Safety of Travel: Building the Perfect Car Bomb.” We covered the history, science, and technology of car bombs, from the primitive ignition-based devices and old-school “tilt fuses” to more current mudguard-or-under-seat magnetic bombs. Three-quarters through the semester, the teacher was arrested for high treason and the class was cancelled. The dean emailed the class list, informing us that there would be no substitute teacher and no credit would be given. When I saw him in his office, he informed me that there was no possible way I could justify the car-bomb course as necessary for my Library Science degree. “I see,” I said. “You’re the white Geo Metro outside, RSX593, right?”